Celebrating International Men’s Day

Fighting misandry by emphasizing our common humanity

From Wikimedia Commons.

Today, November 19, is International Men’s Day.

Lately, I have taken a renewed interest in men’s issues. In part, it was the realization that the Left is increasingly losing men to the Right. Men are half of the population and half the votes, so this is a losing proposition. Unless we can reverse the trend, we progressives will continue to lose elections. Although women are increasingly voting progressive, this is not enough to quench the loss of male votes. Also, a country politically polarized along gender lines cannot be a healthy society.

I blame feminism for the loss of men to the Right. For over a hundred years, feminists have been saying that they don’t hate men, but this no longer seems to be true. It’s not just that some feminists openly say that they hate men; is that the other feminists do not dare contradict them and, quite often, even applaud them. The discourse of 4^th wave feminism is seething with contempt for men.

But for me, interest in men's issues is nothing new. It started in the 90s when I read Iron John, the book by poet Robert Bly that started the mythopoetic men’s movement. The book inspired me to look for my masculine identity, exploring my relationship with my father, my male role models and the women in my life. This kind of introspection complemented quite well my spiritual practice. I could not understand myself completely unless I accepted my masculinity.

Sex is an essential part of our humanity. We cannot disregard it and understand our bodies, our desires and our emotions.

Misandry, the hatred of men

Misandry is the hatred of men, the counterpart of misogyny, the hatred of women.

Just like with misogyny, the hatred of men is rarely stated openly, but manifest as contempt, invisibility, lack of empathy, stereotyping, double standards and, increasingly, laws that discriminate against men.

And, just like it used to happen with misogyny, misandry has become so embedded in modern culture that it is hard to see it unless you know where to look. For example:

• Traditionally, men’s lives have been considered of lesser value than women’s lives. “Women and children first” is the standard in any emergency. In wars, men are sent to fight and die, while women stay safely home.

• Men are conscripted to serve in the army in many countries. I lost 14 months of my life to that, serving in what still was the fascist army of Spain and even becoming involved in the attempted coup against the new democracy of February 23, 1981. In a society in which men and women compete for the same jobs, this set back men’s careers at a crucial time in their lives. In South Korea, where men are drafted for two years but women do not have any similar obligation, this is causing a huge backlash against feminism.

• Gynocentrism is a deformed ethical framework in which women’s concerns take precedent over men’s concerns. For example, women’s need to be safe from sexual abuse is considered more important than men’s need of not to be falsely accused and to be considered innocent until proven guilty. This is obviously incompatible with feminist’s claim that they seek equality. Gynocentrism is a form of bigotry, the mirror image of androcentrism and male supremacy.  

• Affirmative action discriminate men competing with women for the same job, even when men are more qualified.

• In divorce, men often lose custody of their children or get fewer visitation rights.

• “Deadbeat dad” laws blacklist fathers the moment they have a child. When they get divorced, they risk getting their salaries garnished and being financially ruined by a system that not only funnel their money to their ex-wives but also to the State. There have been cases in which fathers have been forced to support children who were not their biological offspring, or adult sons and daughters.

• Men are stereotyped as rapists, child abusers, violent, stupid, lonely, non-empathetic and socially inept.

• When accused of sexual abuse, men are deemed guilty until proven innocent. If the case goes public, they condemned in the court of public opinion. Even when proven innocent, men are still considered guilty by society just because they have been accused by a woman.

• Physical abuse of men by their wives goes largely unreported because men are too ashamed to denounce it, and often not believed when they do. Violence against men by women often involves the use of weapons (knifes, pans and other kitchen utensils) and causes more damage than violence against women by men.

• Women who murder their husbands are often able to hide their crime, especially when it’s by poisoning. They get lesser sentences if discovered, and are often “understood” by a society that assumes that the men were mistreating them.  

• Men commit suicide more often than women. They are blamed for it, assuming that they were victims of toxic masculinity and even that they did it out of spite for their wives. The truth is that many men are driven to desperation by financial ruin due to having to pay child support, coupled with the isolation of being isolated from their children and not having the means to procure another lover.

I have found plenty of evidence for all this in the book Legalizing Misandry, by Paul Nathanson and Katherine K. Young. The book forms part of a trilogy with Spreading Misandry and Sanctifying Misandry, which I have not read yet.

Another important book on the plight of men is Of Boys And Men, by Richard V. Reeves.

The danger of victimism and Identity Politics

It is good to be aware of the suffering and discrimination that men suffer these days. However, this negative view runs the risk of playing into the hands of the current epidemic of victimism. It is based on the narrow view of society as divided between victims as oppressor promoted by postmodernism. Feminism has painted men as oppressors, so the men’s movement counters by arguing that men, too, are victims of misandry.

This competition for victim status is socially divisive, promoting a zero-sum game in which the rights of one group can only be gained by suppressing the rights of another group. In the best-case scenario, this encourages the politics of polarization in which the social gains produced by one political party are erased when the other party comes to power, as we are witnessing lately. In the worst-case scenario, this divisiveness will spiral into violence.

Misandry encourages misogyny, as men feel increasingly aware of this zero-sum game and wronged by feminism and the increasing privileges of women. By allowing misandry and the contempt of men to take root, feminism loses its moral high ground. It is also shown to have lied about wanting equality and not hating men. As we are seeing, as the men’s right movement becomes stronger, it generates more misandry in feminism, which in turn causes more misogyny in men.

In the end, misandry and misogyny are just two sides of the same coin: the belief that social order should be based on the confrontation the two sexes. It is the same belief that Identity Politics applies to race, religion, national origin, sexual orientation and any group division to which it can apply its ideology of victim-oppression confrontation.

That is why is so important that we focus on the positive qualities of men and what their contribution to society. Unfortunately, doing so requires pushing back against a feminist ideology that demonizes maleness as toxic masculinity and prescribes as remedy the feminization of men.  

Instead of centering victimization and divisiveness, we need to create a new culture based on empathy, collaboration, respect for our differences, and honoring our common humanity.

 Copyright 2025 Hermes Solenzol